Oh, I'm sorry I read it wrong. Girls, Would you break up with your boyfriend if you found out he did this to his ex (before meeting you)? My ex jumped right in a relationship with another guy. They're curious as to how your life is going after them. Any future dating plans? Many of you have asked me “Should I ask my ex ….” (this or that). Pointer Three “Accidentally” your ex winds up at the same place as you – Again and again. Its so hard wen you love sum1 who's rejected you but uv gota think of you here and put you first , she's contacting you because a) she misses the attention 4m you and b) she wants 2 keep her options open. 3. Sometimes, it’s a rush of excitement. However exes of a long time ago, I dont mind hearing about how their doing or if they ask how im doing. The first step is to manage how you respond to what your freshly-minted ex has to say. However, if your friends don’t want to share, don’t force them. She dumped you when you really needed her. The breakup was very recent. However I should have said she had it coming to her. Ask her like you'd ask your mother for a cookie before dinnertime (sorry if I deflated your boner). She has changed for two other guys in the last 9 months. This is just really bothering the hell out of me because I feel used. I actually took the high road on this one and didn't laugh in her face. Think of it this way, you meet a girl, and she just seems to have a lot to deal with. don't give her the satisfaction of thinking its ok to communicate with you. It is important to know where you ex was coming from when he began dating you? She may want you as a back up plan or maybe she just wants to talk to you to make life easier her. Why does my ex text me to ask me if i'm ok (i established no contact on New Years Day), say he worries about me and then tell me he misses me, when he's seeing someone else? No contact means no contact. It was on and off and that's a big thing. Answer: Yes, that’s fine, as long as you don’t appear jealous or disappointed. Also during our "off phases" I did date and sleep with a few other girls. I am his first serious gf. Keep it positive around her, even through messages. I don't think its sympathy though. Well its almost been 3 weeks with no contact. well she talks to you because she knows you'll be nice and talk to her back. So that's why it's "on/off". Going through crap affects people even if they do not notice the personality change. I guess I keep trying to fool myself into thinking that "she is an exception to the rule" but she's not. I'm sure she still cares for you and asks how you are doing not just for sympathy but simply because she cares. Before You Go! If they show up at your house, don't answer the door. Clear editor. In this case, your partner should be actively involved in working through their issues with a therapist, mentor, or trusted spiritual-advisor. Yeah, I'd suggest not talking to her. After he dumped me I decided I'm going on a working visa 2 oz for the year maybe more.And he says wen I come back we can give it another shot nd it may work then. Yeah from what I can tell the other guy does seem relatively drama free. All men in the world think their girl is so special and like no other, once they're off with her they start thinking why was I with that girl, was I blind or something... as men, we should only count on ourselves, we're independent, women are not, that's why you see girls in their 20's jumping from one guy to another like monkeys on trees... and remember we're all great beings, we only need to break our cuffs, those cuffs can be feelings, family, society,... anything. When you no longer talk to your ex, is it normal to ask someone how your ex is doing? I feel like he just sed that to ease the pain but its worse because it gives you false hope , I no dere was no1 else involved but I really feel he's either lying 2 me or he dusn't no what he wants. According to Walfish, there's definitely a time when it's acceptable to text your ex—particularly when there are signs that you two might be able to reconcile. But, the thing is talking to her might spark your feelings back even stronger for her again and considering you guys broke up nine months ago this might be an issue. I am feeling a little more up though. When my ex texts me, “I miss you”. Pasted as rich text. "Anyone … You will get past this, but please don't fall apart in front of her. Question: I am inspired by your answers. Do you even care? Well one thing I can say is that I was very careful not to be TOO AVAILABLE when we were dating last time. She is not there for you, and though she asks if you are okay, don't let it fool you. You do not have to stuff your feelings but trying to get in the middle of your ex's new relationship is selfish. As a Christian these are my thoughts on the Sabbath - your free to post your opinions too. If you're still thinking about your ex and have feelings for them, hoping that it will all work out, then sex with an ex is a bad idea. cherryberry123, Her talking to you won't help you at all for you to get over her. For those WITHOUT them: If you ever had kids someday, how would you want them to turn out. I really get what you mean, when you say you didn't go out if your way to cry on her shoulder. Remember that if you had a real relationship of any kind with your ex where 'caring about you' mattered, they'd either still be with you or still communicating with you. I agree with what the rest you said. Ask to get back together. Casual dating with your ex-husband is cruel to children. She said I was available enough as an reason to break it off. Why You Should Wait Before Getting Your Ex Back. Ask for more time together. You don't have to tell me I know. How to know your Partner's ex is secretly trying to go behind your back and get your boyfriend? I'm really struggling to get over this though. × I would ask my friend not to share such information with me if it was a recent breakup and if I were the friend I wouldn't share the information. Ask your ex if it's ok if you call them from time to time for advice on tasks that were once theirs. Do you even care? A lot of times, the newness of the relationship will not sustain the connection through the drama. Your stomach drops, your heart starts beating faster, your palms get sweaty. If you haven’t spoken in a few months, you’ll ask yourself how they are doing, what they might have been up to, or whether they are seeing anyone new. however, i generally try and refrain from involving myself with anything that has to do with him. Do not use your kids as a rationalization. She dumped me a little over a week ago. Another example of how to ask your ex to hang out, is… 4. Ouch dude, that's what I'm talking about, you need to change your life a little bit, don't only focus on the relationship side, try to be a greater man and more mean, make this girl an excuse to step up to the next level cause she really shook your feelings, guys usually start the change after a mean girl is gone, and stop the contact with her, make her miss you like hell. What do your ex's friends think of you? Don't try to hide your true feelings. So don't talk to her? You guys were in a relationship. The second "on phase" I was much more respectful/less aggressive and let things go at "her pace". In the second "on phase" I opened at lot more. 10 Sneaky Signs Your Ex Is Manipulating You (Playing With Your Emotions) Should I Comment On My Ex’s Social Media Posts? I wouldnt want my friend to tell me personally. "Your partner might feel some attraction to an ex, but feel obligated to lie if you ask," Bennett says. Yes, of course, it is. Be open and honest with them. I've no doubt that she still has feelings 4 you but she needs to grow up ,ur letting her mess with you nd hurt you more by contacting her back nd lettin her tell you bout al her new fellas. If you do decide to ask your ex out, be sure to start things out slowly, and don’t linger on bad memories. Then I suggest giving yourself sometime to start to get over the break up and then maybe talk to her. How long should I wait to ask my ex out? Just because you guys are no longer together doesn't mean she doesn't care. With a promise that you will never contact her again after that. I wanna to know the cold truth from her why she left. What if you were the dumpee and one of your friends tell you they ran into your ex, and they asked about you. If you want to make things work for the good of your kids, it is better to have a definite separation or a definite union than it is to build some drama where you two have other partnerships. I went out with my boyfriend 4 over a year nd a half. So let them go. Only use this approach if your ex currently hates you and doesn’t want to see you ever again. It will make me look wimpy/weak. When you want to ask someone to give you something and you feel you need to be polite, it’s always a good idea to “soften” the sentence — I like the phrase: “Would it be OK if I got your … Just make sure you pay it forward back for doing you a solid. Question: Is it OK to ask your boyfriend how experienced he is in the bedroom? How to their manipulating you? Should I Ask My Ex How She Feels? It's weird how she would do it for other guys during your "off" times! If your partner has no children or shared business with their ex, you should ask that they close the door of the past and stay here in the present. honestly, it kind of angers me when they bring information to my attention that id rather NOT know. she at least has feelings for you still. That's as far as I can go right now. She misses you, but it really sucks if a guy is going through a tough time, and the relationship is fresh. But this isn't the only rule. Seeing your ex’s name pop up on your phone can produce a visceral reaction, like the one Glantz mentioned above. It's a win-win situation: either you just lost someone who isn't right for you, or they'll come back and prove their worth. IF you want her to leave you alone , say it. Ironically that backfired. When It's Acceptable to Text Your Ex . Just be glad that she's shown you that she's not going to stick around when the chips are down. she invited me to lunch but I declined because I had a legitimate place to be at the time. November 30, 2010 in Healing After Break Up or Divorce. One time he asked me if I am talking to someone else. Your ex might be genuinely interested in how you are doing on the other hand it does depend on the type of relationship you had and whether he If you run into them on the street, keep walking. Of course people are curious about exes and what they are doing, but that doesn't mean they're really a part of your life anymore, nor is there any evidence of 'caring' other than random curiosity that they have no intention of acting on by getting back with you again. just saves myself from more pain and anger. my family brings my ex up alot, as well as my friends. why would you want to talk to her and hear how great her life is with out you. That's what I call equal pay. Of course its hard to get over your ex but of what you explained she doesn't sound like the one. My question is: Can I ask my ex if she is seeing someone else and if she is, what do I do? How do you feel? I remember one time many years ago it made me crazy to hear that my ex had asked about me - it was a recent and awful breakup and I begged the mutual friend to tell me if he had asked. 10 Silly Mind Games Your Ex I It'd just set me back, if it was a fresh break up. Is it OK to ask your ex out? Asking for permission to call can be the first step in creating a cordial relationship. You hate me and you want me out of your life for good. Doing so involves not contacting your ex for a while, and exploring what life is like without them. Even if your ex boyfriend dumped you, he may still have feelings for you and may still be in love with you. Reality Check: Police Kill African Americans at a Disproportionately Low Rate. One of the most important questions you can ask your ex is: "Did you ever love me?" If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Though you should not try to put your friends in the middle, you can ask them casually how your ex is doing lately, especially if you have not heard from them. Basically, if he wants to forget about you or if he is over you, he will not leave your business unfinished. Human psychology being what it is I want to text everyday now since I've been dumped. For example: You might say to her, “Okay, I get it. Ouch....she left me because she thought I was "weak".....ouch...ouch...ouch. Since the past three days, I don't know for what exact reason I'd had my phone switched off, totally disconnected from people, just so that I could lay my full focus on the novel I was reading. use your willpower. I actually let my guard down for her hoping that she was an "exception to the rule". Sometimes your significant other has unresolved feelings about their prior relationshiops. Doing so will give your ex an excuse and a chance to have to see you again. What? I am a greater man than this and I deserve BETTER than her. yur just like me man...i appreciate the truth, and nothing but...anything else is bs and ear candy. At this point your ex is doubting their … What if you were the dumpee and one of your friends tell you they ran into your ex, and they asked about you. Yes… you can ask your ex for anything. Your link has been automatically embedded. Listen for These Questions. VERY WEAK. How do you feel? Unless it was a nasty breakup, I think for the most part, people want their exes to do well and be happy. 4. How-ever, asking is one thing, getting what you are asking for is another. Avoid asking for money. The thing is I rarely complained about my problems to her....but on a few occasions I might mention something just to seem real/human. By the way she jump right into a relationship with another guy, show how much respect she had for you. I know exactly what ur going thru. They Ask Mutual Friends About You. "When we started dating, did you want us to last or did you have an exit strategy already in place?" I guess I want more concrete reasons why I shouldnt be around her. As a man I CANNOT go around telling everybody how depressed I am. Does my fwb want more? Display as a link instead, × So don't misinterpret random 'asking about you' to mean anything other than curiosity, because if that ex was really interested in you or wanted to get back with you, they'd contact you themselves. 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